World Without End

I’m going to have to get a new computer, not sure how much to spend, how much to keep back as savings. Not a nice feeling. I always feel a bit sick when I spend money.
Given the enormous pretentious oblivion of my 20 years with major depression, given the sharpness of my long abandonment to emotional [...]

Sometimes think I seem more bipolar than depressive. It certainly moves in swings. It may be that what I consider well is really more like mania, though I’m looking at the last “up” phase with something approaching amazement from my current position at the bottom of the whole entire universe. I certainly seemed to do a lot of [...]

New filing cabinet.
Originally uploaded by World Without End

:: shuffles in wrapped in blanket ::
Hullo.
I’m not very well.
I’ve got depression. Oh you remember me mentioning that do you, well bully for you, I suppose you want a big shiny medal or so-
Sorry. Sorry. Right. Yes.
I can hardly move. I can’t think. I just want to sleep [...]

Not that I have much to be ungrateful for this month, but I’m hoping February will be a happier time. I will continue to blog. I notice that my Twitter stream often becomes a sort of stream-of-consciousness flow of gags, whereas this blog has tended toward the unbearably maudlin. Might be able to balance this [...]

The artist Jenny Holzer is well known for her compelling work focused on setting ideas and aphorisms in public space. She’ll carve odd, beautiful, memorable sentences into granite, project them hundreds of feet high across well-known landmarks, or send them twirling in endless neon down gallery walls. Recently as I’ve become more engaged with Quakerism [...]

I’m currently off work having suffered a meltdown of reasonably titanic proportions – I’d thought it nothing at the time, but it turned out my doctor reacted with more concern than I’d expected. Fortunately I still had a spare 5mg of wiggle-room in my antidepressant dosage, so I’m now on the absolute maximum dose.  I’ve [...]