World Without End

Sometimes think I seem more bipolar than depressive. It certainly moves in swings. It may be that what I consider well is really more like mania, though I’m looking at the last “up” phase with something approaching amazement from my current position at the bottom of the whole entire universe. I certainly seemed to do a lot of [...]

New filing cabinet.
Originally uploaded by World Without End

:: shuffles in wrapped in blanket ::
Hullo.
I’m not very well.
I’ve got depression. Oh you remember me mentioning that do you, well bully for you, I suppose you want a big shiny medal or so-
Sorry. Sorry. Right. Yes.
I can hardly move. I can’t think. I just want to sleep [...]

Rosie at The Beatles Story
Originally uploaded by World Without End

After two hours in the Beatles museum I’d learned to truly hate the fab four in a way I’d never hated anything, but it only encouraged Rosie. Here she is with John Lennon’s orange glasses. Rosie is an emotional storm in a little redheaded teacup, and [...]

I hope it’s alright to thank you here for the supportive comments on last night’s post, but I’m doing this through my mobile phone and replying to comments seems a bit beyond me. Seriously, though, thank you. It helped.
Today went alright, actually. I’m a Quaker if I’m anything at all, but I still managed to [...]

I am in a hotel. Note: I am not in *an* hotel. An hotel. Doesn’t sound right. An hotel. Sounds correct, but not right.
So I’m in a hotel. We are staying in Southport visiting my wife’s family. Hotels are weird. I have to simulate sleep from 8pm onward for my children’s sake, though really I’m [...]

It’s freezing. It’s FREEZING!
Running gets a lot harder when it’s cold, eh? Also it was not-funny dark tonight, and the stars seemed to mock me from their cold, ancient beds.
I now have my Homer Simpson slippers on, and I’m not going anywhere without them for at least eight hours.
Night night

Today I had to minute a committee meeting instead of my wife, which worked perfectly well. I can’t talk much when I’m concentrating but it was alright. For some reason I can’t now place, I’d expected this committee to be full of sharp-elbowed sharp-tongued people but they were all really nice, which made it easier. [...]

I’m trying to resist lunging towards mania. That’s not going to help. I need balance, I need peace and clarity. The only thing I don’t need is routine. I’ve got plenty of that.
I don’t go manic, not nearly. But I do get my hopes up, about silly things. And as I slowly get well, hope [...]

Not that I have much to be ungrateful for this month, but I’m hoping February will be a happier time. I will continue to blog. I notice that my Twitter stream often becomes a sort of stream-of-consciousness flow of gags, whereas this blog has tended toward the unbearably maudlin. Might be able to balance this [...]

Feeling awfully grateful for my family. My daughter Rosie beat me at chess earlier but it turned out she’d invented all sorts of extra uses for en passant which I don’t think actually exist. I’m just happy she’s playing at all. Then we looked through her fossil set, which she got for Christmas. Fossils are [...]